Warning: mysql_fetch_array() expects parameter 1 to be resource, boolean given in /home/essays/public_html/mods/index.php on line 1087
Lights Of Las Vegas Essay
Essay Topics
Types of Essays
Essay Checklist
Word Counter
Readability Score
Essay Rewriter
Everyone should go to Las Vegas once in their life...EXACTLY ONCE. Everything bad has already been said about Las Vegas. So let me say some good things, which I will do as soon as my nerve endings return to my body. Humans are not designed to be assaulted like this. Every sense, except common sense, is overstimulated here. So we show up after dragging our asses through the Southwest Airlines gauntlet. Southwest is the cheapest airline in the country, with an emphasis on the word LINE. Most of any trip on Southwest consists of standing in line. On some airlines you earn perks by being a good customer. On Southwest you earn perks by standing in line. They open the gate 1 hour before the flight, and the first 30 people in line get to board first and pick any seat they want and actually find space for their carry-on luggage. So people have figured out they need to be there one an a half hours before the plane is set to leave to be among the first 30 in line. Now it takes 30 minutes through security and an hour and 30 minutes in line, that's 2 hours minimum in the airport building itself. Add to that travel from home and parking and we're talking about 3 2 hours door to take off. And that doesn't count, God forbid, that you have to check luggage, which on Southwest actually requires a separate reservation and at least another hour in line. But I'm straying from the real story here, Las Vegas. The words Las Vegas are not Spanish at all but actually Yiddish for Aaching eyeballs. There are so many light bulbs in Las Vegas, that if you stretched them all end to end you would have a lot of broken glass. Not only that, they flash on and off constantly and there are movie screens everywhere and slot machines that blaze. And then fireworks INSIDE, and that doesn't even count the intense light and heat emanating from your wallet where your money is burning toward the center of the earth. So then there are the shows. By the time we leave tomorrow, we will have seen three shows: Mystere, Excalibur's Kings Feast and tomorrow night, Lord of the Dance. Human beings were not meant to do some of the things in these shows. In Mystere, for example, people climb up poles like they are the devil monkeys in Wizard of Oz. And two men perform a gymnastic routine where one holds the other one who is standing on his hands, but then the first one does a slow somersault and leaves the head of the second one sticking out of his ass. It's incredible. We could do a great parody of this act with me in tights and a parrot walking on whatever body part happened to be on top at the moment. Or maybe two parrots in tights. In Excalibur they ride horses at full speed in a space not much bigger than your living room. And they throw real javelins and joust and fall off the horses and execute fight choreography so bad it's a wonder they don't die laughing. Tomorrow night we get to see Lord of the Dance, which I suspect might be a Las Vegas combination of Lord of the Flies and They Kill Horses Don't They? where Irish people in skimpy clothing roast a wild pig and attempt to kill each other by dancing to death. I'm sure it will be great, but I won't see any of it, because I will almost certainly be blind by then. Definitely visit Las Vegas. If you loose all your money, at least you'll qualify for disability.
Essay Writing Checklist
The following guidelines are designed to give students a checklist to use, whether they are revising individually or as part of a peer review team.
Introduction
  • Is the main idea (i.e., the writer's opinion of the story title) stated clearly?
  • Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Does it make the reader want to keep on reading?
Body Paragraph
  • Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence that is related to the main idea of the essay?
  • Does each body paragraph include specific information from the text(including quoted evidence from the text, if required by the instructor)that supports the topic sentence?
  • Is there a clear plan for the order of the body paragraphs (i.e., order of importance, chronology in the story, etc.)?
  • Does each body paragraph transition smoothly to the next?
Conclusion
  • Is the main idea of the essay restated in different words?
  • Are the supporting ideas summarized succinctly and clearly?
  • Is the concluding paragraph interesting? Does it leave an impression on the reader?
Overall Essay
  • Is any important material left unsaid?
  • Is any material repetitious and unnecessary?
  • Has the writer tried to incorporate "voice" in the essay so that it has his/her distinctive mark?
  • Are there changes needed in word choice, sentence length and structure, etc.?
  • Are the quotations (if required) properly cited?
  • Has the essay been proofread for spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc.?
  • Does the essay have an interesting and appropriate title?
Lights of Las Vegas
Trending Essay Topics
Explore today's trending essay topics:
Reference
Feel free to use content on this page for your website, blog or paper we only ask that you reference content back to us. Use the following code to link this page:
Terms · Privacy · Contact
Essay Topics © 2019

Lights Of Las Vegas

Words: 627    Pages: 2    Paragraphs: 5    Sentences: 39    Read Time: 02:16
Highlight Text to add correction. Use an editor to spell check essay.
              Everyone should go to Las Vegas once in their life. . . EXACTLY ONCE. Everything bad has already been said about Las Vegas. So let me say some good things, which I will do as soon as my nerve endings return to my body. Humans are not designed to be assaulted like this. Every sense, except common sense, is overstimulated here.
             
              So we show up after dragging our asses through the Southwest Airlines gauntlet. Southwest is the cheapest airline in the country, with an emphasis on the word LINE. Most of any trip on Southwest consists of standing in line. On some airlines you earn perks by being a good customer. On Southwest you earn perks by standing in line. They open the gate 1 hour before the flight, and the first 30 people in line get to board first and pick any seat they want and actually find space for their carry-on luggage. So people have figured out they need to be there one an a half hours before the plane is set to leave to be among the first 30 in line. Now it takes 30 minutes through security and an hour and 30 minutes in line, that's 2 hours minimum in the airport building itself. Add to that travel from home and parking and we're talking about 3 2 hours door to take off. And that doesn't count, God forbid, that you have to check luggage, which on Southwest actually requires a separate reservation and at least another hour in line.
             
              But I'm straying from the real story here, Las Vegas. The words Las Vegas are not Spanish at all but actually Yiddish for Aaching eyeballs. There are so many light bulbs in Las Vegas, that if you stretched them all end to end you would have a lot of broken glass. Not only that, they flash on and off constantly and there are movie screens everywhere and slot machines that blaze. And then fireworks INSIDE, and that doesn't even count the intense light and heat emanating from your wallet where your money is burning toward the center of the earth.
             
              So then there are the shows. By the time we leave tomorrow, we will have seen three shows: Mystere, Excalibur's Kings Feast and tomorrow night, Lord of the Dance. Human beings were not meant to do some of the things in these shows. In Mystere, for example, people climb up poles like they are the devil monkeys in Wizard of Oz. And two men perform a gymnastic routine where one holds the other one who is standing on his hands, but then the first one does a slow somersault and leaves the head of the second one sticking out of his ass. It's incredible. We could do a great parody of this act with me in tights and a parrot walking on whatever body part happened to be on top at the moment. Or maybe two parrots in tights.
             
              In Excalibur they ride horses at full speed in a space not much bigger than your living room. And they throw real javelins and joust and fall off the horses and execute fight choreography so bad it's a wonder they don't die laughing. Tomorrow night we get to see Lord of the Dance, which I suspect might be a Las Vegas combination of Lord of the Flies and They Kill Horses Don't They? where Irish people in skimpy clothing roast a wild pig and attempt to kill each other by dancing to death. I'm sure it will be great, but I won't see any of it, because I will almost certainly be blind by then. Definitely visit Las Vegas. If you loose all your money, at least you'll qualify for disability.
-Mark Friedman
Funny Essays 
+1
Tip: Use our Essay Rewriter to rewrite this essay and remove plagiarism.
Next :

Add Notes

Have suggestions, comments or ideas? Please share below. Don't forget to tag a friend or classmate.
clear
Formatting Help
Submit