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As I sit here and attempt to piece together an answer for the question on this college application, I can't seem to think of any openings that aren't utterly cliche. Maybe even this opening is cliche, but it is giving me a better feeling than my previous attempts, so I think I will keep it. I won't lie, my mind is not here on this essay. My mind is on my father, who is dying of brain cancer. I don't say this to ask for pity but to give insight into what has been happening in my life during the past eight months after my dad was told he had approximately two years to live. Less than a week ago, he was told he had two weeks left. When my dad learned he was dying, he asked me to write a memoir about his athletic achievements. For the past 25 years, my dad has run. He's run marathons, triathlons, and even attempted a 50-miler a few years ago, although he only managed 35 miles (which is still quite an accomplishment). The reason my dad asked me, and not one of my sisters or my brother, is because I love to write. I've always wanted to major in creative writing, and now I have an incentive. What first attracted me to your college was its amazing English program. Reading about it for the first time, I dubbed it "drool-worthy." Writing is pretty much my form of oxygen. It's what I do, it's what I've always done. No matter what's going on, I write. At least, that's the way it always was until my dad got sick. Since then, my writing has slowed. I'm scared to write about my reality, as if doing so would make it more real. I saw your college with my dad last April, and it struck me as a place where I could happily spend four years. After visiting, I fell even more in love with the English program and realized this could be where I make my dreams a reality. My dream is to write. Before I wanted to write for me because it is what I love to do, but now I also want to write for my dad. It means a lot to me because he didn't always support my ambition to major in creative writing, but he has finally realized that is what I want to do and now he supports me. I want to write my dad's memoir, and I want him to know, wherever he may be, that I have achieved my dream. I believe your college is where I can turn my dream into reality.
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Introduction
  • Is the main idea (i.e., the writer's opinion of the story title) stated clearly?
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Body Paragraph
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Conclusion
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Overall Essay
  • Is any important material left unsaid?
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Turning my dream into a reality
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Turning My Dream Into A Reality

Words: 457    Pages: 2    Paragraphs: 8    Sentences: 27    Read Time: 01:39
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              As I sit here and attempt to piece together an answer for the question on this college application, I can't seem to think of any openings that aren't utterly cliche. Maybe even this opening is cliche, but it is giving me a better feeling than my previous attempts, so I think I will keep it.
             
             
              I won't lie, my mind is not here on this essay. My mind is on my father, who is dying of brain cancer. I don't say this to ask for pity but to give insight into what has been happening in my life during the past eight months after my dad was told he had approximately two years to live. Less than a week ago, he was told he had two weeks left.
             
              When my dad learned he was dying, he asked me to write a memoir about his athletic achievements. For the past 25 years, my dad has run. He's run marathons, triathlons, and even attempted a 50-miler a few years ago, although he
             
              only managed 35 miles (which is still quite an accomplishment).
             
              The reason my dad asked me, and not one of my sisters or my brother, is because I love to write. I've always wanted to major in creative writing, and now I have an incentive. What first attracted me to your college was its amazing English program. Reading about it for the first time, I dubbed it "drool-worthy. "
             
              Writing is pretty much my form of oxygen. It's what I do, it's what I've always done. No matter what's going on, I write. At least, that's the way it always was until my dad got sick. Since then, my writing has slowed. I'm scared to write about my reality, as if doing so would make it more real.
             
              I saw your college with my dad last April, and it struck me as a place where I could happily spend four years. After visiting, I fell even more in love with the English program and realized this could be where I make my dreams a reality.
             
              My dream is to write. Before I wanted to write for me because it is what I love to do, but now I also want to write for my dad. It means a lot to me because he didn't always support my ambition to major in creative writing, but he has finally realized that is what I want to do and now he supports me.
             
              I want to write my dad's memoir, and I want him to know, wherever he may be, that I have achieved my dream. I believe your college is where I can turn my dream into reality.
My Dream Essay 
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