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I hate cows. I had a dream once. A large plastic cow with huge, benevolent eyes - the cheesy squared-off figure of a child's toy with a tail that didn't move, turned silhouette by the setting sun -stood drinking from a wooden trough full of scarabs. They skittered and crawled all over each other, dripping from her loose, plastic lips. She blinked at me.There was something sinister and macabre about the whole thing. Even jerking awake couldn't erase the picture of horror from my mind. Cows are nasty animals, let me tell you. No, they are nothing like the sleek male creatures that whirl so powerfully through the red cloth bravely held by the ridiculously festooned and rakishly mustached Spaniards. They stink, for one thing. Oh,boy, do they stink. It's that manure-plus-hay smell that gets all over your clothes and won't ever come out. I abhor that smell. It turns my guts like nothing else, and makes me want to burn any clothes, favorite t-shirt or no, that carry even its slightest hint. And let me tell you something else: milk will never taste the same after you've spent substantial amounts of time around the bovines it comes from. Every time I pick up a glass, it's like Pepe le Pew walked by: I can almost see the smell floating past my nose in wavy green lines. It's unnerving the way they look at you, like they can't quite figure out how you got there and don't know what to make of you,since you don't smell like food. The damn cow just wants to be milked. But you know what I hate most about cows? They grow on you. When the old ones aren't giving enough milk or birthing enough calves, you've got to do something with them. And then you realize that cow's been around longer than you have and you remember all the times she snuffled at your skirt and made you smileor laugh at her innocent, pushy displays of unquestioning affection. But what do the memories change? You've still got to do something with her, 'cause profit is the name of the game, and you haven't got a choice but to play. Hack her up, put a meat hook in her backside and tan her hide into somebody's purse. You see that leather jacket? It's got that little tag with the gold "Genuine Leather" written on it. Do you know the cow it came from? Perhaps. And isn't it nice to know that her hide is so sought after. Posthumous appreciation is the best kind.
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Why I hate cows essay
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Why I Hate Cows Essay

Words: 450    Pages: 2    Paragraphs: 8    Sentences: 32    Read Time: 01:38
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              I hate cows.
             
              I had a dream once. A large plastic cow with huge, benevolent eyes - the cheesy squared-off figure of a child's toy with a tail that didn't move, turned silhouette by the setting sun -stood drinking from a wooden trough full of scarabs. They skittered and crawled all over each other, dripping from her loose, plastic lips. She blinked at me. There was something sinister and macabre about the whole thing. Even jerking awake couldn't erase the picture of horror from my mind.
             
              Cows are nasty animals, let me tell you. No, they are nothing like the sleek male creatures that whirl so powerfully through the red cloth bravely held by the ridiculously festooned and rakishly mustached Spaniards.
             
              They stink, for one thing. Oh,boy, do they stink. It's that manure-plus-hay smell that gets all over your clothes and won't ever come out. I abhor that smell. It turns my guts like nothing else, and makes me want to burn any clothes, favorite t-shirt or no, that carry even its slightest hint.
             
              And let me tell you something else: milk will never taste the same after you've spent substantial amounts of time around the bovines it comes from. Every time I pick up a glass, it's like Pepe le Pew walked by: I can almost see the smell floating past my nose in wavy green lines.
             
              It's unnerving the way they look at you, like they can't quite figure out how you got there and don't know what to make of you,since you don't smell like food. The damn cow just wants to be milked.
             
              But you know what I hate most about cows?
             
              They grow on you.
             
              When the old ones aren't giving enough milk or birthing enough calves, you've got to do something with them. And then you realize that cow's been around longer than you have and you remember all the times she snuffled at your skirt and made you smileor laugh at her innocent, pushy displays of unquestioning affection.
             
              But what do the memories change? You've still got to do something with her, 'cause profit is the name of the game, and you haven't got a choice but to play.
             
              Hack her up, put a meat hook in her backside and tan her hide into somebody's purse. You see that leather jacket? It's got that little tag with the gold "Genuine Leather" written on it. Do you know the cow it came from? Perhaps. And isn't it nice to know that her hide is so sought after. Posthumous appreciation is the best kind.
Cow Essay Opinion Essay 
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